I Love L.A.
The weather is great in Southern California right now. Sunshine and warm weather suits me fine. Friends of mine that still live out East or in the Midwest always want me to feel guilty because they don't enjoy such great weather. To them I say, "suck it." If it is so miserable in Chicago than get the eff out. It's the same weather every year. They can't possibly think that this coming November is going to be a glorious 80 degrees for two weeks. They can't possibly think that once spring breaks that it won't be cold again until December.

"This winter," I would declare, "is going to be my last." Every winter that I spent in the Midwest I uttered that statement. It was usually preceded by an expletive. I said it every year until 2006 when I actually packed my bags and left.

I bought a first class ticket to LAX due to depart on December 1, 2006. I spent the last week of November packing. Actually, I spent the last two or three days of November packing (I am a master procrastinator). November 30 began with a strange chill in the air. The weatherman's forecast said snow and we got snow...A lot of snow. It snowed through the afternoon. And through the evening. And through the night. My flight, which was one of the earliest scheduled flights, was cancelled. Of course, I couldn't get away that easy.

The next day, December 2, 2006, I was on the earliest flight from Chicago to LAX. My brother Alan picked me up at the airport. It was so warm, I think about 78-80 degrees. We ate lunch on the patio of a West Hollywood restaurant. It was so warm that I had to go to the bathroom to take off some clothes.

L.A. is a weird little town full of weird little people but damn, I love the weather.

i'm back bitches. i couldn't stay away for long. i always need to write. and i need a forum to post all the news of interest i find out there in cyberland.

first up today is for our home gardener/Obamaphile. please check out the Chia Obama

I'm coming back.

Farewell Bitches!

This is it Bitches! I have been too busy to update this blog regularly and so now it is time to shut it down.

Like my previous blog, "I'm Just Glad to Be Here", Utempo became more of a chore than a diversion which was my original intention. It seemed that my life required more of my attention than my public writing.

I'm going to miss leaving stupid videos and articles for us to muse. My favorite regular feature, "What's Wrong with U.S.?" will definitely be missed. I'm going to miss telling you about American Idol and my other reality shows but I'm sure you will manage without my two cents.

There are many great LA stories missing. There are my nipple rings that came and went in 9 months. There is the bi-polar, meth-addicted former roommate. There are the many temp assignments, including the one I am on currently at a popular cable network (HBO). There are all the wonderful "adventures in casting" stories at Frank TV. There are my appearances as an actor on the same show (look for me Tuesdays in November on TBS).

There is my re-obsession with the musical Rent. The joys and travails of being lactose-intolerant. And reclaiming my 20-something body. For those of you who have known me for a while, I am referring to the healthy, lean and tone body of my late 20s vs. the delicate, Calista Flockhartish look of my early 20s.

This is fun. Don't you love hearing about the things I didn't write? Like the Men and C-list celebs (and/or A-list hairstylists) that have made up my silly love life. Life with no car in Commuter City. And, of course, there are the great friends that I have been privileged to meet and know. These are the people that make life in LA well-worth the lack of good pizza.

So, I leave it. I may start another blog but who knows. There is no future, there is no past. I live this moment as my last...no day but today.

Video - Breaking News Videos from CNN.com#/video/us/2008/03/31/ramos.ks.phelps.protest.wibw#/video/us/2008/03/31/ramos.ks.phelps.protest.wibw#/video/us/2008/03/31/ramos.ks.phelps.protest.wibw

God Hates Fag Bashers March. Several years ago, I suggested to some of my Second City colleagues that we march on Fred Phelps's church. I'm glad to see that someone organized and did it.

Kansas woman sat on toilet for two years - Los Angeles Times

I have anxieties. I have phobias. However, a
Kansas woman that sat on the toilet for two years definitely has me beat. This is one bizarre story. It isn't even her bathroom. It belongs to her boyfriend. The police are trying to figure out if they should charge the boyfriend with a crime. What? The boyfriend may deserve the enabler of the year award but is that a crime. Frankly, I'm a little jealous of her. I have thrown some world class crazy at some of my past boyfriends but I don't think any of them would have brought me meals in the loo for two years.

It is worth noting that the officer on the scene is named Whipple...Just an observation.

Girls love their gays!

It's hard to tell what is going to make you laugh and what isn't. This video by Chris "leave Britney alone" C makes me laugh. It is funny and I'm not sure why. It could be the wig. Or his religious fervor. Or for his plea for straight men to give him a fruit basket. It took me a second to warm into it but it really delivers and is less than two minutes long. Check it out and give the boy a fruit basket.

#@$%!
I quit smoking. I quit acting (mostly), and I quit my ex-life partner Steve. Now I might quit cussing. This could be more difficult than nicotine. See, even when I was a Bible-toting scripture spouting church boy, I loved to use profanity/swear/cuss. Now that I have accepted my life as a the world's best backslider, I cuss even more. Even my current desktop wallpaper pic (pictured left) is a joke about profanity. I have a Master's Degree so I like to think that my vocabulary is large and expansive. It's not but I like to think that. Despite the plethora of words I could choose, a cuss word will do the trick nearly every time. Just this past weekend, my friend Greg reprimanded me for using the word "sh*t" at least a dozen times in a twenty minute conversation. My response to Greg was, "go f*ck yourself you whiny little sh*t. Now let's go to Fatburger, that sh*t is good."

The city of South Pasadena will issue a no-cussing week proclamation beginning tomorrow night. All of this profanity free living is thanks to a 14 year old kid that started the No Cussing Club. A club which I could never be a true member but I'm willing to curb the cuss for a week. A week, shit, how hard could that be?