Friday, June 30, 2006

Director Lloyd Richards Dies
I am truly sad to hear that Lloyd Richards has died. He was sick for many years now but I will miss him none the less.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

All You Have to Do Is Dream

My best friend, Patchy, lives in Brooklyn and has for the last 5 years. He is a good guy that has stood by me through thick and thin. His number one job is talk to me on the telephone whenever I call. And he has lived up to his responsibility faithfully. We used to talk 3 or 4 nights out of a week but now we only speak once every two or three weeks. Earlier this week, he did the unusual, he called me.

Patchy rarely calls except when he is very excited about something. He was very excited. He was nearly busting at the seams. Why? He called me to tell me that he could not wait another 6 months for the release of the Dreamgirls film.

Patchy is a Dreamgirls fanatic. Not only has he watched any video labeled Dreamgirls on YouTube.Com but he took two trips to see the Philly live stage version back in February. He has Dreamgirls fever and it is spreading. He listens to the concert version everyday. The man has Dreamgirls fever and it is spreading. So, today I want us to go back to the day. Beyonce was just being born and no one had ever heard of this Jamie Foxx. Lets go back to when legendary stage director and choreographer Michael Bennett was still with us. When Jennifer Holliday was still fat. And Loretta Devine and Sheryl Lee Ralph (rumored to soon replace the fired Star Jones on The View) were relatively unknown.

The year was 1982. The first week in June. The same week that I graduated from the 8th grade and attended my Uncle Daryl's funeral, my eyes were opened when I watched Tony Awards that year and got my first glimpse of Dreamgirls.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

See Ya!
It is official, Star Jones-Reynolds to leave 'The View'. Can't say that I am going to miss her on the program. As a mater of fact, it was her mind numbing ramblings about her nuptials that made me so sick that I couldn't watch the show in the first place. I recently started tuning again so I could say goodbye to Meredith Vieira and prep myself for the new reign of Rosie O'Donnell. What a relief to see Jones-Reynolds take her piety and self-rightousness elsewhere. I hear a rumor that Star's seat has been offered to original Broaddway Dreamgirl, Sheryl Lee Ralph.

The Plight of the Under-Employed

thinking cap cover
Originally uploaded by mylilpip.
Candy is the number one thing on my mind because on July 7th the Strangers With Candy Movie opens in Chicago. Ironically, I will be co-teaching a class that night with one of the Strangers With Candy cast members.

I am grateful to be teaching that night (and not just because I will be working with Greg) since work has gone from feast to famine very quickly. Steve and I returned from our fab vacation over 4 weeks ago and I worked and worked and worked. I finished my run of The Rock, taught a class, was featured as a comic actor in a dance recital, and appeared in a music video for Manheim Steamroller. Yeah, that's right Bitches, THE Manheim Steamroller, don't be jealous.

Things were looking good. I like to be busy. Even though I bitch about it daily when I am busy, I still like it. The more I have to do, the more I seem to get done. A tight schedule also clarifies my priorities. When I am busy, I am don't have time for bullshit or things that I really don't want to be bothered with so it easy for me to say no. When I am not busy, I say yes to just about anything because I don't have as many options.

These days when I get up my options are stay in bed and masterbate or get up and masturbate. Today, I chose get up...wait a minute...this discussion is getting way off center here. The point is that I need work. It is because of work that I feel justified to play. I can't enjoy my play if I don't feel like I earned it. Quit thinking about masturbation, I'm sorry I brought it up.

So, I am seeking temp work and writing. I have at least three projects that need to be written ASAP. I am also shooting a short film tomorrow. That's work plus there is always some chore around the house to do. So...Let me stop blabbing to you guys and get to work. See, my priorities are clarifying already.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Don't Watch This Video

I actually listened to the whole damn thing...I recommend that you don't. The Stars Are Blind but Paris Hilton's singing makes me wish I were deaf. The vocals sound like Gwen Stefani performing with the stomach flu. And the just not very good.

Smiles Everyone

Rosenfeld_HS010, originally uploaded by mylilpip.

With much hair comes much responsibility. I just got new headshots last summer but my hair is significantly different and so is my look. This pic is from a photoshoot done in Mid-April. It has taken me over a month to narrow down which photos to use. This is one of the finalists. I like it because it looks like me. It also projects a quality that I feel is inherently Pip. This is a"raw" and untouched photo so please excuse the shmuz and eye wrinkles. Through the magic of retouching all of that will disappear.

Gay Old Time
Last Night, Steve and I went out with our friend Tim to @mosphere to see the incredibly talented Amy Armstrong and Freddy Allen. They were so great. If you have never caught their act then I am sorry for you because you really have missed something special. Whenever I see them I think about Bette Midler and Barry Manilow performing in New York bathhouses in the early 70s. This is probably the closest comparison I can think of to describe the lively and (I dare say) gay fun their show creates. Freddy seems to be able to play anything and Amy is damn funny. And Amy's voice is incredible. But don't take my word for it. You can ask another one of her fans, Michael Feinstein. Mr. Feinstein once saw her perform and now he flies to Chicago to see her. Yep, she's that good.

If you can't come to Chicago to see the fabulous Amy and Freddy then try to catch them when they perform on the RSVP gay cruises. You won't regret it.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Driving While Enlightened
Sorry that I was gone so long but I was ever so busy. I was involved in a huge dance concert and I appeared in a music video. In addition to those two projects, I am also working on the script to my one man show and a screenplay for Straight & Nappy. Plus, I have the StoryBus.

Speaking of the StoryBus, I have a great story. The actual bus of the StoryBus is a 37 foot Winnebago that we drive to different sites. When we get there, we perform our story for the children and then take them aboard the Winnebago that houses the setting of the story they just heard. Here are pics so you can see just how cute this whole experience really is.

Last Wednesday, I had to drive the StoryBus to a north side location. It was a good visit with the salsa-rific children ever. As I was driving the cute vehicle back to its storage location I was cut off by a bad driver (Chicago is full of them). I almost hit him. I screeched on the brake trying to stop the 37 foot vehicle. I honked my horn as a warning. The guy who cut me off cursed at me and gave me an obscene gesture. Clutch the Pearls Honey. Can you imagine cursing at someone driving a vehicle with the Gingerbread Man on the side? For shame.

I got the RV back to its parking space in one piece but just barely. I was cut off by two more people and I passed a guy drinking a beer while driving. Jesus!

As I drove my own car (translate that to Steve's car) home I approached a four way stop. As I traveled northbound, I noticed a pudgy late middle-aged man on a bicycle going westbound. At the four way stop I noticed the pudgy cyclist speeding up. He was trying to speed through the intersection before me. He didn't make it. I had the right of way and I took it. The pudgy late middle-aged cyclist didn't like it. "Bitch Whore," the man yelled out to me. Unreal, I have just been called a Bitch Whore. I have been called both Bitch and whore before but never at the same time by the same person. I thought about stopping the car and playing the role of angry black man. I could lower my voice a couple of octaves and yell out "What did you call me Motherfucker?" but the upcoming light was green and I didn't want to miss it. The old dude was not worth it.

Moving on...Lliterally...I continued traveling north. About three blocks from the bicycle incident, I found myself behind a white convertible being driven by a serious multi-tasker. She was putting on make-up, talking on the phone, and looking in the glove compartment. Good Lord! At the point when she was looking in the glove box, she was only traveling ten miles per hours on a twenty-five mph street. Traffic in the opposing lane prevented me from passing her so I gave her a little toot of the horn. And she gave me the middle finger. What in the hell is wrong with the world? People can be so rude and selfish.

I took in all the traffic events of the day. The guys who cut me off, the cyclist, and now the "bird" lady made me think that I was a terrible person but only for a minute. I thought about how much power we give to people when we allow them to fuck up our day. Honestly, I was too tired to let it happen to me. I also thought about centurions (not from Battlestar Galatica but people that live to be 100 years old or older). Not that I want to live to be 100 years old but they have a lot of wisdom to share about life. When asked about their longevity most 100+ seniors say that they still drink, dance, and smoke cigars. Yes, they probably have genetics on their side but the big difference between them and us (besides the 50-80 years age difference) is that they never let things bother them. They are just cool headed mellow individuals.

Two blocks past the finger incident, "Bird"lady pulled into a McDonalds. As she turned and I passed her I gave her another toot of my horn. She looked in her rearview mirror and saw me blowing kisses at her. I don't think she liked it but it made me feel great. I laughed my ass off the rest of the way home. I'm sure she thought I was fucking with her but I was very serious. This situation needed some positivity. So, I spread the love.

So I suggest to all my friends and readers that if you find yourself cut off by an asshole driver; cursed by a boorish cyclist; or behind a rude driver simply spread some love and blow them kisses.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Uptempo Orpheus Must See
Big ups (yes, I'm trying to bring it back) to my comedy partner Rebecca for sending me this clip from the Media That Matters Film Festival:6. A Girl Like Me examines Black adolescent girls struggling to find an identity. The wisdom of these young women is amazing. Even more amazing is that this film was directed by teen director Kiri Davis. Check it out.
I am so busy that I am just stealing shit from other people now. (My)Steve sent me this email that I thought was pretty good. I hate people who sue for no good reason. And you should too. I'm sorry I can't name the source but I'm printing it anyway. Don't sue me.

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most ridiculous, but successful lawsuits in the United States
Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of t he car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

4th Place(tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was
>on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place: (tie)
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. ; The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun .

3rd Place :
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place :
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other c omplete morons around.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Hey Bitches. I apologize that my posting has been so irregular but I promise to back very shortly. Right now, I am a little busy juggling too many things at once. Two days ago, I taped a segment for a local PBS show, I am writing a screenplay, and I am rehearsing a dance recital/variety show that performs this weekend. Busy, Busy, Busy. My life is crazy right now. But not as crazy as this shit.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Billy Preston Dead at 59

Originally uploaded by Uptempo Orpheus.

The "Fifth Beatle" and composer of "You Are So Beautiful" died in Scotsdale, AZ today.

It is the day of the Anti-Christ. So, in celebration, I will be wearing all black all day...And eating babies . It shoud be noted that the central air isn't working in our house so it sort of feels like hell. To get me in the holiday mood, I am planning to worship at the Church of Satan, to dance like Satan's Cheerleaders, and protect my network with SATAN.

The jury is still out on whether to see The Omen flick. I loved the original when I was a child. And I even was into the the two sequels. I'm not sure why they felt the need to make remake it except for the brilliant marketing idea of opening today but whatever....A flick about the Devil's spawn is always good for a lark. Just as a side note: Whenever I see a particularly bad kid, I like to call them Damien.

And speaking of the devil, what is up with President Bush and gay marriage? Let it go W and fix the messes you already created before your start new ones. Or fix these guys' marriage. BTW, why is that conservatives are always screaming about state's rights until it comes to their agenda? That is when state's rights go out the window and the "moral agenda" comes in. Well, I say if you are opposed to gay marriage than don't have one. Otherwise, get a life.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Snap, I Got You

snap, originally uploaded by mylilpip.

Somewhere in San Francisco, a fellow amateur photographer has a picture of me taking a picture of San Francisco's hunky firemen on the corner of 14th and Market