Cleveland Rocks Out with Its Cock Out
It seems that people in Cleveland are still having sex...In the library. This report is brilliantly awful which makes me love it all the more.

Cool Ocean Breezes

PCH Vista Redux, originally uploaded by mylilpip.

The warm weather has returned to Chicago. Unfortunately the humidity that comes with it is back too. It is only May. It just gonna get worse when July and August roll in.

While performing this morning I sweated so much that my mike tape wouldn't stick to my skin. By the end of the performance I looked like I had been dipped in a pool and set onstage to dry.

Ironically, my latest nappy look is enhanced by all this moisture. I enjoy the hairstyle but the sweating profusely has got to go.

I took the picture above as Steve and I traveled along the California coast. That cool salty breeze would be so appreciated on a day like today.

Idol Chatter

Come on, this is a no-brainer. Taylor WILL win. So, I refuse to even comment on last night's show. Instead,I am enjoying T.V. Show Themes

Thought for Today

gaycure, originally uploaded by mylilpip.

I will be out all day honoring excellence in teaching. Until I return, cure yourself of Satan's gay madness and guard yourself against the reefer madness. Both of which I love dearly.

Boys in the Hood

Super Ego Headline, originally uploaded by mylilpip.

I love road trips. I consider myself a great traveller. I rarely complain. I love new places. And I have a lot of patience.

That patience was tested more than once as Steve and I traveled from LA to Chicago.

We left LA on a Thursday morning. We took our 2nd LA host, Jerry (more on Jerry another time), out for breakfast at an upscale espresso place/shoe cobbler shop (I'm not kidding) then we bid adieau to the land of real tans and fake titties. We had such a great time on the west coast. It seemed a pity to leave.

We stopped to fill up Steve's new toy at a gas station on Crenshaw and Venice Blvds. It was at this moment that I remembered all the shit I hate about LA, including Motherfuckin' South Central. This gas station was so ghetto, everybody had to pay inside before pumping. There were no self-pay credit card pumps.

Steve went inside and to pay while I wrote down the mileage and gas price. This information would later help us figure out how much this goddamn journey really cost us.

A pretty raggedy looking brother approached me as I recorded the Super Octane gas price at $3.499/gallon. He told me that Steve told him to go ahead and start fueling up the car. I smelled bullshit and asked the brother to step away. He pointed to a man sitting in front of the gas station on a crate. Raggedy Brother told me that the man was his Cousin Alfonso. Raggedy Brother said he was looking taking care of Cousin Alfonso. I looked at the sitting man again. He was more fucked up than his cousin. The ragged seated man swayed back and forth. I thought he might fall off his crate but just as he leaned too far forwards or sideways, he would instantly right himself. "He's got polio," said Raggedy Brother, "but he'll be alright." Apparently, Raggedy Brother took me for a fool.

"Oh, polio," I started, "he might want to see someone about that."

"Look man," Raggedy Brother started, " we just need..."

It was 11 am and Raggedy Brother was working me hard. If he could put that kind of energy behind a real job, ol' boy would be a millionaire. I listened to pleas for money because of Cousin Alfonso's polio and whatever other bullshit Raggedy Brother could improvise but I wasn't buying it. Steve came out from the station and confirmed that he did not ask RB to pump our gas. I walked inside to buy some gum. When I came out Raggedy Brother was still trying to hustle Steve. I stared down RB very intensely. No words passed between us but there was definately an understanding. He eventually walked away when he realized that Steve and I were over him.

As Steve pulled out of the gas station I muttered, "Polio. I hate motherfuckin' South Central."

Pip and Capt Jack

Pip and Capt Jack, originally uploaded by mylilpip.

Tune in next week to read about Steve and Pip's adventures from California to Chicago in an itsy bitsy vehicle.

I'm Back Bitches
Hello to all. I have safely arrived back in Chicago after a whirlwind trip from San Francisco up to Russian River, and down to LA. From LA, we traveled through the Mojave to Las Vegas, Vegas to Denver; Denver to Peoria; and Peoria to Chi-town. I am back and of course, I am busy. Vacations are great but you have to work in order to earn them and I am working on earning my next trip. This week's agenda includes:

• A staged reading of the screenplay, Fried Green Tomatoes
• Seeing LL Cool P when she and her handsome hubby arrive in town (got to see them in LA just last week so it is neat to see them again here)
• Shooting a parody film
• Singing and Dancing with Schoolhouse Rock Live!
• Grooming the dogs
• Gardening
• Begin writing a new children's show with a friend
• Reading two weeks worth of magazines
• Catching you all up with stories from my trip

Well, none of this is going to get down with me sitting here tapping away. I've got to get some work done.

Congrats
But first let me take the time out to congratulate my homegirl Felicia Fields for her Tony Award Nomination yesterday. I knew she would be nominated and I"m glad she is.

Idol Chatter
And finally on to some American Idol. Sorry I took the two weeks off but it had to be done. But for I need to say that Paris' exit was expected but Chris' was a shocker.

This week the remaining contestants turned out a great show with the Idol take on 3-on-3. I liked them all but without Chris in the competition, the crown is Taylor's for the losing. And last night, he sang to win.

My Favorite: Taylor
My Pick to Leave: Elliot
America Will Pick: Elliot
Dial Idol.com Choice: Too close to call

Road Trip Notes

I won't get a chance to do this often but I thought while I had a computer and an hour of downtime that I would update you all on my fabulous journey thus far.

It all started last Tuesday when Steve and I took a United flight to Oakland. Nothing exciting happened on the flight. The inflight movie was Hoodwinked. Soooooo, like I said, nothing exciting happened.

We landed in Oakland and took a crazy expensive cab ride to the Castro district where we stayed in a B & B. The place was nothing fancy but we had a decent room and a bath of our own.

This was my first time in San Francisco. The town is so beautiful. There was too much to see in three days but we tried our damnedest anyway. We did Amoeba Records in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood, the Castro District, the Mission District, and Chinatown; we ate a sundae at Ghiradelli Square and played arcade games at Fisherman's Wharf; and I caught up with a college buddy Aaron that now lives in Oakland. The highlight of San Fran had to be the De Young Museum located in Golden Gate Park.

Steve and I were in California for two reason. He needed to pick up a classic car he bought on Ebay. And we celebrated our anniversary on Cinco de Mayo (I'll explain that at another time...a very drunken fairytale story). The car was delivered to us at the Marina on Thursday. Steve tested it out and parked it in an overnight lot. The next day, our anniversary, we packed our stuff in the very tiny car but the car wouldn't start. Happy Anniversary! Steve thought he must have left the lights on so he went in search of someone to jump our battery. After 20 minutes or so, Steve returned and announced that a mechanic would be coming in twenty more minutes. So, we waited. Fifteen minutes later, a mystery man (not the mechanic) pulled up and stopped. He asked if we need help and then proceeds to give us a jump. When this doesn't work, he climbed under the car and discovered a wire that had come loose. He and Steve fixed the problem and we were on our way. The mysterious stranger (named John actually) left without allowing us to show our true appreciation. I don't believe in angels but I do believe there is goodness in the world waiting to come your way if you are open to it.

Steve and I had a great anniversary. We drove up to Sonoma County and stayed in the Russian River area. If you have never heard of Guerneville, CA then look it up. What a strange place, full of wineries and gays.

The next day we went to the Korbel winery and then drove south on Highway 1 to Gorda Springs, a town run but what looked like out of work pirates to me.

To be continued...

See Ya in 2 Weeks

gone-fishin, originally uploaded by mylilpip.