Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Hooray for Hollywood Holidays
I started training yesterday at my new job. I hate corporate franchise training. It is all that brainwashing repetitive corporate culture stuff. I just want to yell, "I get it. It's called being a professional. Now will you demonstrate the actual skills that will be needed to do my job or do we need to continue this redundant discussion on keeping my uniform looking clean and crisp?" Apparently, we needed to do the latter.
The holidays are right on top of us and it is so strange to me. I am basically not celebrating Christmas this year. Mom bought me a jacket for Christmas when I visited her just before Thanksgiving but that is it. That was my Christmas. I am not buying anyone a gift (not even Mom). I don't have a tree. I don't want a tree. Steve and the dogs are in Chicago. So, I guess I just won't celebrate.
If I have to, I will hang out with my California brothers and sister. I have never celebrated Christmas with them before so I'm a little scared. I'm not scared of them but I don't really enjoy spending time with my stepmother. That is a whole other post for another day. Speaking of posts, this Christmas Eve marks the third anniversary of this blog. That reminds me. I also did not celebrate Christmas 2003.
I have never been a Christmas fanatic. My Mom loves the holiday but it has always disappointed me since I found out that Santa wasn't real.
The year was 1976. I had just turned eight years old and it was Christmas morning. My sister MIchelle and I would write our Christmas letters to Santa using the Sears catalog as a guide. It was always the Sears catalog, no other, I'm not sure why. I assumed Santa had some sort of credit plan with Sears. Every year I asked for Hugo, the doll of many faces, but Santa never brought it to me. He probably knew that I hadn't been that good because I got bad marks in math. This year, I felt, Santa would look past my math scores and reward me based on my good heart and spirit. No such luck. I tore through all the packages and there were some good gifts including my Lite Brite but no Hugo. Santa always seemed to get my sister nearly everything on her list and often more. I thought that sucked because she was in pre-school and didn't have to do any math.
There was one gift that Santa didn't bring my sister on this Christmas morning. Honestly, I don't remember what the actual gift was but it was something my sister really wanted and it required assembly. How do I know it required assembly? Because my stepfather pulled me aside and told me that he needed me to play along with him. He told me that he ran out of time and wasn't able to put together one of my sister's gifts. He told me that he was going to tell her that Santa left a note saying that he would come back later with the fully assembled gift and that I was supposed to back him up. That's when my stepfather looked me straight in the eye and said, "you know there's no Santa Claus, right?" I smiled. I said, "yeah, of course." And then moved to the corner with my Lite Brite. I made a clown face just like the one on the box.
Merry Christmas Bitches.