Thursday, April 08, 2010

Three Tiers of Queers and Hurray My Nephew is Here!

Today is the 15th birthday of my oldest nephew Brandon. I love that kids so much. I love all my nieces and nephews but Brandon holds a special place in my heart because he was the first. I also had a chance to get to know him in a way that never happened with his siblings or cousins. This post is dedicated to a guy I love so dearly since the day he was born...before.

The day of my nephew's birth is bittersweet for me. I'll never forget that day. At least, I hope not.

My nephew was born on a Saturday. I lived in a 3rd floor walk-up in Chicago's Wrigleyville neighborhood. I received a phone call from Mom that Brandon had arrived and I quickly ran out bought a Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times from that day. I also decided to put together a memory package for Brandon's 18th birthday. I bought an 18th birthday card and I don't remember what else to put together for Brandon. I sat in my room and wrote a long note to my nephew. I shared a few memories of his parents. I shared personal information about myself. And I wrote a few humorous words of advice. I put the newspapers, card, etc inside a large envelope and wrote "not to be opened until April 8, 2013". Then I had a congratulatory bong hit with my roommates Bethany and Stephen.


At the time I was dating an older guy. I was in my 20s in he was 32 (sooooo old). I met him the week before Valentine's Day when my friend Micheal took me out drinking after a show we were performing. We went to a troll dive bar (still one of my favorite types of bars) with cheap beers and porn. Across from us stood a cute Italian guy with several ear piercings, a great haircut, and skinny jeans. The guy was named Danny.

Danny was funny. He was also a world class grouch. He lived on the 3rd floor of a run down building located right along Chicago's El Track just one block from the Belmont stop. His building was falling apart but his apartment was OUTSTANDING. He had great taste too. He was a self-taught punk from Detroit. I was instantly smitten. I thought he was a keeper. And Danny thought I was....cute.

He invited me around quite a bit and introduced me to his close friends including his neighbors that lived in his building on the first and second floor. It was at Danny's Easter dinner, which was attended by these friends and neighbors, that Danny invited me to the 1st Annual Three Tiers of Queers Party.

Each resident of this building represented a different subset of the Chicago gay community. Danny was alt-punk and had a thing for brown and black skinned pretty boys. His 2nd floor neighbor was a pot smoking radical fairy living with AIDS. His 1st floor neighbor ran with the twirling twink crowd. I was so excited because I had a little something in common with all of the groups. The Three Tiers of Queers Party (TTQP) was intended to be an epic Chicago gay blowout.

I arrived at TTQP full of energy still excited over my nephew's birth. I started my journey on the 3rd floor. That was Danny's place. I arrived about 1 1/2 hours into the party and it was hopping when I got there. Danny was really being a grouch. He was teasing me and putting me down in front of his friends. He was also spending a lot of time with this nasty cutting black queen. I was way too sober to deal with these fools.

I moved down to the 2nd floor. Danny's neighbor smoked me up and mellowed me out. He was a good dude. He suggested that I work out my frustration with Danny by shaking my ass with the twinks on the 1st floor. I took his suggestion. I had a blast shaking it up with the cute set.

After all that booty shaking and pot I was horny so I went back to Danny's place. The once bulging party had thinned down to Danny and a few drunk scragglers. Included in the scragglers was The Nasty Cutting Black Queen. And he was in rare form. Apparently he dated Danny before me and was not a fan of mine. The Nasty Cutting Black Queen took this occasion to read me like I was an emergency manual. Since I was high as gas prices my defenses were down. My best comeback was something like "Oh, yeah. Shut up, you drunk stank bitch." I turned to Danny to see if he would stand up for me. He did not. As a matter of fact, he egged The Nasty Cutting Black Queen on. I left the building pissed off (and still horny). Oh yes, I was bitter.

Technically, things went horribly wrong after midnight so I guess it wasn't my nephew's birthday anymore but TTQP still comes back to me when I think of one of the greatest days ever, the day my first nephew Brandon was born.

I love you and Happy Birthday Brandon.

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