The weather outside is awful but I am so happy to have reached Friday. I have been a little preoccupied over the last two weeks. I started a new temp job at a consulting firm in the Sears Tower. This week also marked the return of Dave from Boom. Boom Chicago is a high energy, crowd-pleasing sketch comedy/improv comedy out of Amsterdam. They are in town to perform as the opening of the Chicago Improv Festival. The festival and Boom aren't nearly as important as Dave.

Dave is so sweet. He is super talented, which can be very sexy. He also has one of the best smiles and his eyes sparkle when he speaks about music, improv, weed, or sex. Speaking of sex, I had some last night. I don't want this to be the forum where I brag about my sexual exploits. However, after the recent sexual draught that I experienced while touring, it feels great to be getting some johnnycock. I am running on next to no sleep now because of work, my comedy troupe, and Dave. These combined elements make me smile in the bedroom and sleepy in the office space. But I keep going on. I have been at work now for about 45 minutes and it is only 8:30 am. After work, I will go home for a nap and then head to the Second City for a Minority Outreach event and then I will head to the opening of Chicago Improv Festival. Then I will fuck Dave's brain out. In the morning I will teach. In the afternoon, I will sleep. In the evening, I'm not sure. In the later evening, I will give Dave some going away sex (aren't I generous).

Okay, it has been too long since I have written. I have been mad crazy busy. I accepted a 4 month stint at a "real job". I work downtown in the Sears Tower as the temp finance coordinator while the real coordinator goes on maternity leave. I have no background in finance. It is amazing that I am here. The pay is good and I can still go to auditions during my lunch hour.

It's Tuesday so it must be Idol night. I have to admit that after last week's offensive elimination of Jennifer Hudson from the contest that I am a little leery about watching the rest of the season. I really should not worry about Ms. Hudson, ol' gurl gonna be just fine. I'm sure she already has record contract offers and what a voice on that one. And life is what it is. Sometimes being good or even exceptional is just not enought and that's life Honey. Tonight is Latin music, this should at least be interesting.
There are very exciting things for me to write about: American Idol, The Second City, corporate America, dating, etc. but I will have to save them for later.

There comes a time in every man's life when he has to pull himself up because no one is there. I have had that experience many times even as a child. Last week, it happened again.

I finished my temp assignment at the Big Ad Agency and found myself unemployed once again. It couldn't have been the worse week to be broke. And don't forget that this will affect my finances for at least two weeks. I'm late with rent. My social life lately has been keeping Paul S. company. Paul had surgery this past weekend so he should be doing well soon. I'm getting off topic. I was feeling sorry for myself last week. I was broke and broken.

Yesterday, my friend Danny invited me over dinner and would you believe it? It lifted my spirits. I got up this morning and went to rehearsal. Rehearsal went well. I talked to my temp agency and landed a 4 month temp position for the summer.

It's a gay world afterall The whole world seems to have gone gay. I won't find it. I will even tune into Gaydar.

Life in your 30s I know that my life is not typical. I don't care about typical anymore. I have come to realize that life is a race and in a race, you never want to be looking at anything but the finish line. You can't worry about the other runners. You can't focus on what they are wearing or if they seem to be better off than you or even ahead of you. The race is not given to the swift, nor the strong, but to the one that endures to the end.

I spent most of the weekend stuck in my apartment. Mostly for financial reasons. I just couldn't afford to go out and paint the town red. I already had some weed. I bought some vodka and I rented some movies. I also had to prepare for an audition that I have tomorrow at Noon.

Let me run down the weekend for you. Friday was tough. I was bored and tired. I worked all day at the Big Ad Agency and I had to work in the morining at SC teaching my class. I got home about 6 pm and I immediately started to get high. I have to be honest and say that I don't remember much past this moment except for talking to Dan G later in the night.

Saturday, I taught in the am. One of my students bought the whole training center staff a 10 lb bar of chocolate. I ate a lot of chocolate and then I took off for the video store. I rented three flicks.

1. Something's Gotta Give. A yawner for sure at least the first 50 minutes. I really didn't care about this movie until Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson have their sex scene. From that point I was with it until the end of the movie. Nicholson and Keaton have such great chemistry and look awesome on screen together. I really bought into their relationship.

2. Girls Will Be Girls. The best movie I have never heard of. There are times that you have to trust your gut and rent an indy. I do all the time but this was the best. It was campy, funny, over-the-top, and really fun. Jack Plotnick has been good in everything I have seen in him (even though I didn't know his name). Clinton Leupp is another one of those actors that I have seen in other projects and just didn't know who he was. And I have the hugest crush on Jeffery Roberson. I love him as a woman and as a man....excuse me...but I'm a little conflicted right now.

If you see this movie in your video store, rent it. As a matter of fact, get off your ass and make an effort to rent it. DO IT!

3. The Eye. Eeeh. What can I say? It was okay. It was like a smart version of "The Ring." I won't say that it was bad but I won't say that it was great either. It was a perfectly fine diversion. Truth be told, I watched this one Sunday night an I fell asleep (probably too much weed and vodka).

Previous to my Saturday night video session, I read Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor. I have an audition on Tuesday for a production of this show.I also watched SNL with Donald Trump. I have some friends who work on Saturday Night Live and I love to see their work and their names in the credits. It was also a fun show.

Sunday was my first day off in two weeks. I slept in. I watched Girls Will Be Girls again. I took a long hot bath. I walked in the sunshine through the park and then I rented some porn. I went home, watched The Simpsons, talked to Paul S., cooked dinner, and watched The Eye.

It was a pretty good weekend.

Downtown Birds Okay, yesterday I saw two ducks crossing Michigan Ave but today I saw something disturbing. Natural but disturbing. I saw a hawk with a rat in his mouth. I just happen to look up as I was approaching the Wrigley Building for my last day of temping at the Big Ad Agency and there was a big bird with a big rodent in his beak. I'm glad the hawk didn't drop it. I hate rodents.

The sun is shiny and it is Friday but I am so unmotivated today. I think I might have herbalized a little too much last night. I was on the phone with my best friend Dan G. for 2 full hours last night. Dan G. (or Patchy Scarback as I like to call him) lives in Brooklyn and I am contemplating a move to NYC in the fall. He and I had a very long, frank, and dificult conversation about growing older and fear.

In my 20s, I really wasn't afraid of much. I had no fear of failure. My biggest fear was growing old alone. I remember telling more than one person that I was always afraid that I would be hugely successful and I would have no one to share it with. Now that fear of failure has changed me. I think this fear developed when I was castin the London production of Showboat. I remember thinking that Susan Stroman was going to fire me in rehearsal because my dancing was subpar. I was terrified. I didn't get fired but I did get some shit from some of the older black ensemble members. It was rough because it was the black gay men that were tearing me down. I was always brought up to help your own but that was not what I experienced and it changed me profoundly. It was the first time in my life that not only could I fail but there would be a group of people waiting to celebrate my fall.


Ectasy Last night I watched Primetime Thursday on ABC. Today, all I can think about it is how to score some good X. I want it! I want it! I want it! Here is something enlightening from last night's program: Are you aware that the US government lies to us? Are you aware that the main reason that Ectasy is illegal in the states is because it makes people feel good and some people when they feel good like to party and you can not party and feel good at the same time.

Trump-tastic I can't get enough of The Apprentice. When the show first hit the airwaves, I was in Europe so I missed like the first 3-4 weeks. Thanks to some programming wizard at NBC, I did catch up. I just love the concept of the show. Anyone that has ever been to a job interview can relate on some level to the contestants. However, like good reality TV, this job interview is cranked up over the top. I think Troy made a terrible mistake in going up against Kwame last night but I don't think he would have beat Bill. I would have liked to see the two (Bill and Troy) in the boardroom though. Bill is smart but so is Troy in a more non-traditional manner. I think if you checked in with Bill, Kwame, and Troy 10 years from now, Troy is going to be the wealthiest. He has good instincts and a lot of passion.

Web Footed Businessmen I have lived in Chicago for 10 years. I have seen many things. Today I saw 2 ducks crossing the street on Michigan Ave. They looked like they were leaving the Wrigley Building and heading to Tribune Towers. Too cute for words and me without my camera.

Idol Oh American Idol, this show constantly amazes me. Every year the talent gets better, the show gets cheesier and the voting public gets dumber. Now I will be the first to admit that I didn't see Amy Adams winning this competition but there is no way she should have gone out last night. The whole bottom three was a disgrace. 20 million votes and LaToya, Jennifer and Amy are in the bottom three. No John? No Camille? No Jon Peter Lewis? These are the weak ones and they need to go soon. I guess that's what happens when you let seniors and teen girls pick your winner.

Birthday Greetings Happy Birthday to Jason Grimm and a belated birthday to Joe Canale

Wait 5 minutes I have discussed in earlier entries my self-diagnosed seasonal affective disorder. Yesterday, I felt like crap and it felt like crap outdoors. Today, I feel pretty good and ironically, the sun just made a guest apperance here in Chicago.

Sunshine Speaking of sunshine. Last night Paul S and I went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Let me state here now publicly that I love Charlie Kaufman so much. I'll admit that when I first saw Being John Malkovich, I just thought it was a little weird for the sake of being weird. I liked it but because it was original but I didn't fully get it or buy it. When I saw Adaptation, I was a little more forgiving because I understood the character of the writer and I could relate but there were still moments in the film where I actually felt manipulated. This feeling took me out of the film and made the experience more cerebral and less visceral. Sunshine on the other hand drew me in and wouldn't let me go. I remember at one moment having to use the bathroom but there was at least 40 minutes until the end of the movie. I just held it because I didn't want to miss anything. I loved it. I will see it again.