Everyone will be writing ad nasuem about this subject so I might as well throw in my $.02 on the matter. I officially came out in 1991. I first told my friend Steve in that spring, followed by everyone at NIU , where I attended grad school that fall. I came out to my family that winter and I have never had a closeted day since. I never thought about gay marriage. I have to be honest and say that in the early 90s, I never heard anyone talk about gay marriage. The debate wasn't whether gay marriage will happen or not. There was no debate. It was a non-issue. Hats off to the courts in Massachuttes. However, let us not forget that most Americans live with this reality.