Wednesday, October 12, 2005

It's Official: I'm a Desperate Housewife

It was about 11 months ago that I first met Steve. It was not love at first site. More like lust at first site. We met in the cyberworld at a gay sex site called Manhunt. You got to hand it to the gays. We know how to be direct and to the point. Anyway, we basically had a very casual relationship until this past spring when we put on some speed to become one of those people that move in together after a very brief courtship.

I have officially lived with Steve for about four months but in reality, I have been here more like six. So far...So good.

We make a pretty good team. He is crafty. I have "the flair." The dogs like me better but the neighbors like Steve better. He is young at heart and I am an old man waiting to bust out. He's in his 50s, I'm in my 30's. Again, so far...So good.

Lately though, I have been a little taken back by our domestic relationship. I'm not used to the role that I find myself in.

This past week has meant looking after the dogs by myself while juggling my "very busy career." I cleaned the refrigerator, water the plants, tended the garden, and did some minor fix-it work.

Yesterday, I spoke to our housekeeper, one Ms. "ess no prahbl-ehm" Josepha, about not touching my desk or doing laundry. And this very moment I am waiting for the carpet cleaner to come to clean some of the dog pee stains from before I even moved in here. I need to think about dinner and putting all the furniture back after the carpet cleaner leaves.

I really am a desperate housewife. Did I mention that later this week I'm making truffles? They're marijuana truffles but they are still truffles, for Christ sakes.

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