Like many folks my age, my metabolism isn't what it used to be. I also eat more and excercise less. I've already spent my prerequisite month or two complaining about how fat I am because I don't fit into any of my old clothes but recently I have taken a more active approach. Translation: I'm putting down the whoopie pies and going back to the gym.

I hate the gym. I hate the smell. I hate the gym rats. I hate teh boring repetition of excercise. But if I ever want to fit my big brown ass in my tuxedo again I have to go. Or do I?

I recently came across an add for a fitness program that might be right up my alley. You get to stay at home and watch hunky white bread models excercise. The point is that by watching them you will be inspired to work hard to look as good as they do. That's right look good naked.

Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssse! Who am I kidding? I don't need to buy this DVD. I already get enough hand excercise. You know what I'm saying?

OK?