"The Proof is in the Paper"

american_idol, originally uploaded by Uptempo Orpheus.

All I can say is "Hallelujah! American Idol is back."

Caution Tivo users...SPOILERS AHEAD.

The best prime time talent show/singing competition/train wreck is back. Of course, these are just the prelims. The Top 24 won't be revealed until Feb 15. And the first live results show begins Feb 23. And the Top 12 don't perform together until March 24.

All these dates represent is a few weeks of watching the good, the bad, and the tone deaf.

Okay, lets get it started. I loved how the show begins with all the teasers. Ryan Seacrest (still bothers me)is back and teasing us with all the goodies to come including Ann Nesbit's (Sounds of Blackness)granddaughter.

Lets lead with some positives. Thumbs up to singing male black twins. They seem to be kicking ass in Chicago. I also loved the girl from the girls band Cat Fight.

Okay, nuff with the positives. Lets get to it. What up with the dude in the dress who was participating in this competition because he wanted to show up his mother that had little faith in him and she wanted to prove her wrong. Man, next time don't wear the Heidi outfit and sing Lady Marmalade.

Big chuckles for the diminuative young man that sang "The Load." I don't think Simon should have called him a wasp or a rat but...Yeah.

Speaking of Simon, my jaw dropped when he suggested that that Charles kid shave and perform as a woman. Is that a clumsy bi-0curious way of hitting on a young boy?

I think the winner of the Best Stunned Look Followed by a Great Exit goes to the guy from New York dressed as the Statue of Liberty.

American Idol prelims are always full of very effeminate men. This year is no exception. My favorite effeminate man was the boy that came with his grandmother. You know the one from a "very, very, very,very,very,very,very,very, small town." Hilarious.

My favorite teen is a toss up. It is between the foul mouth girl from Peotone or the sun tanned Crystal. The Peotone girl was talented and crass. But Crystal is good at "singing, acting, dancing, modeling, whatever." And she sings "And I Am Telling You" from Dreamgirls and "Lady Marmalade" like nothing you have ever heard before or would want to hear again.

Private note to the girl from the Ukraine...NO.

My favorite moment had to be the barrel shaped police officer from West Virginia. He came all the way to Chicago in his uniform to sing "(And) I Shot the Sherriff"? I've visited West Virginia once. Now you know why I've never been back.

I love you Idol. Welcome back.