Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Best Of...

This will probably be the last "best of" post for a while. My walk down memory lane is nearly complete. It has been great revisiting my past. I hope you like this next one from March 1, 2001:

and don't forget the raisonettes
I have always been able to buy into the idea of my life as a movie. My friend Kava and I have spoken about our lives like this for years. We often talked about the importance of good editing, scoring, and a soundtrack to die for. My movie must be guest directed by some up and coming music video director lately. Everything is fast and furious. I go from hero to zero and back again so quickly these days. One morning, I wake up feeling like a million dollars and the very next, I don't want to get out of bed. I would prefer to stay in bed and cry. The crying is not even due to sadness. I just feel like crying. Maybe my life is not a movie. Maybe I'm what most folks would call.....C-R-A-Z-Y....or a-r-t-i-s-t-i-c (which is crazy with a flair).

Yesterday, I gave notice to my boss at MSDW that I would be leaving at the end of this month. I have targeted March 23 as my leave date. That was a good thing.

I worked at the furniture store but didn't make one single sale. That was a bad thing. One of the people that did come in yesterday thought I was a college student. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I do like my youthful look but I definately feel that people don't respect me as much because they think that I am young. I suppose I could use their perception to my advantage. If you think, "wow, look how smart and mature that 23 y.o. is..." when in reality the 23 y.o. is 32.

Today, I purchased my friend Dan's birthday gift. I don't buy many birthday gifts but Dan is an exception. He has become my closest friend and confidante over the last three years. He has consistently been a good friend and a big supporter. Of course, that is not to say that he agrees with every decision I make. And thank goodness for his sensibility when I was in my depression, otherwise I would I have done some really stupid things. He was the one that talked me out of moving to Guam. LOL................*still laughing.....
Sorry, I had to have a moment.....Dan, AKA Patchy Scarback, was not so supportive last night about my decision to quit my day job. He knows how I have struggled and he is worried that I might be moving too fast but I'm not. The timing is right. I feel it. If I only made life choices and decisions based on the full reality of a situation, I would still be in Peoria right now, or in jail, or dead. Every good thing in my life has come because of a bold and daring move. I remember in December 1996, I decided to quit my day job. My sister tried to talk me out of it. She knew that I was finally eating regularly and paying my bills on time. She was right but I knew it was time to move on. I could feel it. I left that job on a Friday by the following Monday, I was cast in Showboat. More recently, I took a half personal day to attend an audition just as a learning experience. That audition led to my Second City contract.

I am having dinner with an Angel tonight. Last Friday, at the Fat Friday Ball fundraiser, I met this great guy named Joel. When I first saw him, he was in drag and looked like a Vegas version of the character Angel from the musical Rent, a show I have seen about 12 times. Anyway, when his volunteer shift was over, he changed into his own outfit for the night, which I believe was a pajama set. Didn't matter, he was cute and sweet and easy to be with. He gave me his pager number at the end of the evening. A couple of days later, I called him. We chatted, very casual and easy like the preceeding Friday. He didn't show any romantic interest in me at the party/fundraiser or on the phone but then we spoke on the phone and it was like we had known each other forever. I invitied him over for dinner. I just wanted to see if this was just going to be a friendship (which is great by me because when I finally settle down, I want that person to be a true friend) or something more. I was fascinated with the idea that he was "Angel." Well, Angel is a character in a play. And my name is not Tom Collins. Joel is sweet but Joel has a boyfriend. He told me last night and I'm glad he did before I jumped off the romantic ledge. Still, I loved the idea of romancing Angel. I met Wilson Jermaine Heredia in London. Rent and Showboat opened at the same time in the West End. Wilson, Krysten Cummings (who played Mimi), and I would have a few drinks from time to time at the Theatre Arts Club. I'm getting off the subject. The point is that I was hoping to find an Angel (like the Aretha Franklin song). Hopefully, I have found a new cool friend for life.

My life is definately a movie. I wish I had someone to share my popcorn.

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