Dateline Gotham

I have been so busy for the last few days. Yesterday and today I have been temping at the big ad agency located in the Wrigley Building. It is a great gig. The work load is light. The people are nice to me. There are few cute guys. And there is an endless supply of chewing gum. In addition to the temp assignment I am producing, writing, and rehearsing my show Straight & Nappy which opens March 26. Straight & Nappy will also perform a scene from our show in Words opening at Second City this Saturday night.

My best friend moved to New York 6 years ago this month. I hate that he is so far but we usually talk on the phone 3-4 times a week. Lately with my schedule, this arrangement has not been practical or desirable. So, we have gone to email. I received this email today. I love it because it shows how much we think alike. Printed below are excerpts from his email and my response.

To: Pip
Subject:Celebrity Shmelebrity

Celebrity news...reality show news...I hardly know where to begin...

Heaven knows it's not an uncommon occurrence to see celebrities on the subway in NYC...after a while it does just sort of become like "Oh yeah...he/she looks taller/shorter/fatter/thinner/meaner/nicer in person" and then back to your reading...

So it's worth noting when you see someone that, if only for a moment, makes you go "Oh my God it's so-and-so!"...which is exactly what happened to me this morning.

So I'm minding my own business, as usual...couldn't get a seat, so I'm standing on the subway, one arm wrapped around a pole, reading my Entertainment Weekly, and basically not paying attention to anything going on around me...again, as usual. So imagine my surprise when I look up for a brief moment to discover that I am standing right next to, practically face-to-face with one Austin Scarlett. The recognition factor was so instant...there was no "Oh my stars is that Austin?" because there was just no denying it was him in all his glory...big chunky black glasses, layered flowing coat and blouse (it was not a shirt--it was a BLOUSE), and longish flowing blonde hair...I probably looked like my eyeballs were popping out of my head because I was so surprised to find him NOT three feet away on my TV, but rather three inches from my face on the F train.

I said nothing because...what was I going to say aside from "Hey! You're Austin!" And then he got off the train. But I thought you'd appreciate hearing about my brush with Project Runway greatness. My only quibble with the show at this point, which I love, is that it seems rather obvious that Kara Saun is the superior, most consistent designer of the group...and therefore, it seems so highly unlikely that she won't win. The previews seem to indicate that Wendy is going to self-destruct this week (and it's about time), and Robert really should have been gone a while ago (maybe over Alexandra or Kevin?)...which leaves Kara, Austin and, interestingly enough, Jay, as the three who will go to Fashion Week. I think that would be the most interesting showdown, at least design-wise, since the three of them all have individual styles that are very different from one another. But it's really Kara's to lose at this point.

Won't be home tonight to see the newest episode...going to see "La Cage" with Matt...but I'll probably have to watch it as soon as I get home. I'm enjoying Runway even more than the Race this season...because clearly, the only people left to root for on the Race are Kris and Jon. If that harpy Hayden wins, I may have to boycott the Race forevermore. She is absolutely intolerable. Aaron is a saint. I keep waiting for him to just SMACK her silly. But, in general, I've found the Race this season to be not as much fun as seasons past. Too much fighting! That's not what makes the show fun to watch, and I hope the producers aren't equating their spike in the ratings to the fact that they're showing so much more team conflict this season. It's exhausting and excruciating to listen to over and over and over again.

Speaking of excruciating, did you see that Jonathan and Victoria are going to be the featured guests on a special primetime episode of "Dr. Phil", where Jonathan's behavior and their relationship is explored and examined? I hope I have the strength to stop myself from watching. I'm not sure who I can't stand more...Jonathan or Dr. Phil. The combination of the two of them just sounds ugly.

And then there's the Idol...oh Idol. I love you Idol. Somehow it just doesn't get boring...wait let me rephrase that. The clips of the really awful auditions are getting kind of old, because now it's become a game of who's-really-that-bad and who's-pretending-to-be-that-bad-just-to-get-on-TV (like what exactly was the point of the mime audition?)...but I really appreciate the human interest-y stories that they're featuring so far this season. Especially some of the folks who, on their way into the room, don't look like they have a prayer...and then they open their mouths and it's like WHOA. Even when they don't make it through...I mean how could you NOT love the karaoke girl who sang "I Could Have Danced All Night" last night? Or the guy who's father said he'd never amount to anything? Or the young girl who was crying BEFORE her audition, who was so freakin' nervous in the room, but sang great? And who knew LL Cool J was such a softy? It seemed like every time he had to say no to someone, he'd get up and give them a hug. I guess better him than, say, Gene Simmons. I'm not sure a hug from Gene would do anyone any good. Maybe scare them and give them nightmares...but that's about it.

To: Patchy
Subject: RE: Celebrity Shmelebrity

I love it! This is why we are friends. you basically have said everything that I feel about these shows. I am going to publish some of your reality show comments on my blog.

I love Austin. You are so right about Kara and she would deserve to win. Robert, the charming straight guy, just flashes that smile at the judges and they buy his shit. The only design of his that worked for me was his "envy" suit. But that bathing suit - OMG that was so fugly. Speaking of which, do you know the Go Fug Yourself site? Hilarious.

BTW, I knew that LL was a sweetheart. I wish he would give me a hug. And the way I picture it, his shirt is off. He is soooooooooooooo Mmmmm! No words, just good sounds Mmmmmmmmmmmmm LL!

To: Pip
Subject: RE: RE: Celebrity Shmelebrity

Oh my stars! I'm going to be a published writer! What's your blog address again?

Enjoy Runway and Idol tonight...thank heaven Runway is on at 9PM...otherwise you might be stuck watching the fucking president talk about peace and freedom and whatever. God bless cable.