American Idol, Billboard #1s - March 22

As I type this entry on Wednesday AM Fantasia's "Still in Love with You" is playing on the radio.

OK, let's get down to business. First, Paula Abdul might want to lay off the ecstasy tabs before show tapings.

It seems that the idols love the songs of their childhood AKA the 80s. I remember the 80s but not because of childhood. Truth be told, I remember the 80s as the time that I finally got laid.

Enough about my youth, let's get down to the show.

Anthony - Waiting for Me (1987). I want to like this kid but I don't. However, at least he performed with some personality last night. His energy was good but his vocals were a little "theme park-ish." See you at Six Flags Anthony.

Carrie - Alone (1987). Flawless. Cute hair. Cute paint. She sang her ass off. One word of warning to Carrie though. Don't ever wear a sash around your waist again. It made you look a little hippy.

Scott - Against All Odds (1984). I didn't like this song 20 years ago and I don't like it now. It is so cheesy even for me (and I love the cheese). Judges gushed but I wasn't that impressed. I didn't think he took any risks except when he flung his glasses.

Bo - Time in a Bottle (1973). Finally, another decade. This number started out with dim lighting and Bo never looked better. As he stepped out into the light, our caveman rocker revealed a fugly shirt but still you can't beat him as a performer. He is some good shit. I love this guy.

Nikko - Incomplete (2000). 900+ songs to choose from and he chooses a Sisqo song? Ok...Nikko looked the part and his vocals were better than the original. Good job Nikko. BTW, when is Ozzie dropping by?

Vonzell - Best of my Love (1977). In case you haven't heard, I might be a little bit gay. I have danced to this song thousands of times. I pretty much know the lyrics by heart. Vonzell is so cute but I need more at this point in the competition. You got to bring it with the vocals baby. If this was a production of "Dreamgirls" she would definately be the Deena. I told you I was gay.

Constantine - I think I Love You (1970). Fake. Poser. I'm sorry but...NO. Still don't like him. I have seen "Rent" more than any other musical and I bet he was ok in it but I always feel like his performance are so affected on Idol. Last week I thought he was great. This week I think he had the coolest song and did nothing with it. All flash and no substance.

Nadia - Time After Time (1984). The best hair for sure (sorry Carrie but funky mohawk beats cute curls). Great costume. Not so great vocals. She was like Easter dinner. All ham.

Mikalah - Love Will Lead You Back (1990). Another song that was bad at the time and 15 years hasn't improved it one bit. Terrible vocals. She should have picked something like "Let's Hear If for the Boy." Oh well, I have a song to sing to you Mikalah, "Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more..."

Anwar - Ain't Nobody (1983). Again, I am a big ol' black gay, I love Chaka Kahn. Anwar has this great gift for odd song choices but somehow he makes them work. One of the main reasons is that he has such a great voice. BUT...he needs to get more comfortable with his physical self. He can't move at all. He dances like Courtney Cox in that Bruce Springsteen video. And another thing, the brother can sing but he looks like a woman with a moustache. "Give your Aunt Bunny a kiss"

Jessica - Total Eclipse of the Heart (1983). I don't get all the fuss over this girl. I think, in general, her performances are good but not great. Last night was like Karoake without the sake. She has a nice rack though.

So, there you have it. To recap: All number ones. Six songs from the 1980s, three songs from the 1970s, one 1990s tune and 2000 pulls one in. Paula may or may not have been on E(ctasy). Anwar looks very feminine. I love you Idol.

My favorite performance: Carrie
My pick to leave: Mikalah
My prediction of America's pick to leave: Mikalah
2nd lowest vote getter: Vonzell